Creating a Culture of Appreciation

By Angus Skinner

By Angus Skinner - March 19, 2009

We swim in the soup of constant discourse. The content and meaning of that discourse flavors our lives.

Say you are driving your child to school, and I cut you off in traffic (dead annoying). If you say ‘Men drivers - all the bxxx same” then your child has learned that this problem is pervasive (all men) and permanent (no hope).

If you say ‘Agh, I wonder what is wrong with that guy today?’ then your child has learned this is a temporary problem (today) and limited to one man (me).

Discourse like this goes on all the time - in offices, families, parties and in the street. Our chatter and its meaning is so ever-present, it often becomes submerged below awareness as explanatory style. But this soup we swim in it affects us.

It is easy enough to create a culture of depression. As humans we seem to be experts. Even when our natural skills in this seem to fail us we can call up ancient as well as modern manuals. Most cultures have norms and sayings that warn against too much enjoyment or success — they are like safety valves. They protect us from too much hope. I can’t blame us; sorrow, pain and death are unavoidable in life.

But, we have to be aware of the unintended effects of negative discourse. We could stop passively swimming in our soup and step forward as cooks in the kitchen. Intentionally, we can flavor life with appreciation.