KRudd called Gizzard the lizzard and Swann the goose into his office one day and said "Guys, I have a great idea! We are all going to go all out to win over the country voters".
"Good idea Dear Leader, how will we go about it"? said Julia.
"Well", said KRudd, "we'll get ourselves one of those DrizaBone coats, some RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat. Then we'll really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush".
"Right" said Swann.
Days later, all kitted out, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.
Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. They walked in and went up to the bar.
"G'day mate", said KRudd to the bartender, "three middies of your best beer". "Good afternoon Dear Leader", said the bartender, "three middies of our best coming up".
Gizzard, Swann and KRudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding now and again to whomever came into the bar for a drink.
All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stock whip. He walked up to Gizzard, lifted her skirt with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the other bar.
A few moments later in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to Gizzard and lifted her skirt, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the other bar.
Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and lifted Gizzard's skirt and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, KRudd, Swann and Gizzard could stand it no longer and called the barman over.
"Tell me" said KRudd, "why did all those old stockmen come in and look under Julia's skirt like that? Is it an old outback custom?"
"Strewth no Dear Leader", said the barman. "Someone told 'em there was a dog in the bar with two arseholes".
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
> KRudd called Gizzard the lizzard and Swann the goose into his office one day and > said "Guys, I have a great idea! We are all going to go all out to win over the > country voters".
> "Good idea Dear Leader, how will we go about it"? said Julia.
> "Well", said KRudd, "we'll get ourselves one of those DrizaBone coats, some RM > Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat. Then we'll really look the part. > We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we really enjoy the bush".
> "Right" said Swann.
> Days later, all kitted out, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction.
> Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a > typical outback pub. They walked in and went up to the bar.
> "G'day mate", said KRudd to the bartender, "three middies of your best beer". > "Good afternoon Dear Leader", said the bartender, "three middies of our best > coming up".
> Gizzard, Swann and KRudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and > chatting, nodding now and again to whomever came into the bar for a drink.
> All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled > old stockman, complete with stock whip. He walked up to Gizzard, lifted her > skirt with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked > back to the other bar.
> A few moments later in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to > Gizzard and lifted her skirt, looked underneath, scratched his head and went > back to the other bar.
> Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and > lifted Gizzard's skirt and went away looking puzzled.
> Eventually, KRudd, Swann and Gizzard could stand it no longer and called the > barman over.
> "Tell me" said KRudd, "why did all those old stockmen come in and look under > Julia's skirt like that? Is it an old outback custom?"
> "Strewth no Dear Leader", said the barman. "Someone told 'em there was a dog in > the bar with two arseholes".
> "The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" > - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
> "This is the recession we had to have!" > - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
> "Silly old bugger!" > - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke > responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
> "By 1990, no child will live in poverty" > - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
> "A billion trees ..." > - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
> "Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor > general!" > - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his > appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
> "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" > - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
> "I don't care what you fuckers think!" > - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
> "We'll just change it all when we get in." > - Garrett the carrott
# Apart from being gratuitously offensive, your joke has little going for it. However, what animal has, presumably, NO arsehole? Why, the Pushmi-pullyu; that weird beast of Doctor Dolittle fame. (Does it apply to Push-Pull factors of Refugees? Probably not.) ================================== The Pushmi-pullyu has two heads, Both Fore and Aft, to eat. Which leaves us with (the Middle?) Riddle: How does the Beast excrete? ===================================
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
"The Labour Party is corrupt beyond redemption!" - Labour hasbeen Mark Latham in a moment of honest clarity.
"This is the recession we had to have!" - Paul Keating explaining why he gave Australia another Labour recession.
"Silly old bugger!" - Well known ACTU pisspot and sometime Labour prime minister Bob Hawke responding to a pensioner who dared ask for more.
"By 1990, no child will live in poverty" - Bob Hawke again, desperate to win another election.
"A billion trees ..." - Borke, pissed as a newt again.
"Well may we say 'God save the Queen' because nothing will save the governor general!" - Egotistical shithead and pompous fuckwit E.G. Whitlam whining about his appointee for Governor General John Kerr.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!" - FlangesBum on learning the truth about Labour's economic capabilities.
"I don't care what you fuckers think!" - KRudd the KRude at his finest again.
"We'll just change it all when we get in." - Garrett the carrott
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