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Q: So, what's this Unaugural I've been hearing about on
aus.motorcycles?
A: The Unaugural is an annual in-real-life gathering of aus.moto folk.
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Q: Shouldn't that be spelt "Inaugural"?
A: No, "Unaugural" is the correct spelling.
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Q: Fine. Where is it held?
A: The Unaugural is hosted by BT Humble and his lovely wife Minx, at
BT's country estate "Funkytown" near Tarago, NSW. It involves camping
overnight in a paddock around a bonfire, drinking alcohol and telling
lies.
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Q: So how do I get there?
A: Please e-mail BT at bt_hum...@bigpond.com for directions. If
you've been there before, please do NOT post the directions/address to
aus.moto or elsewhere.
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Q: I've heard that the directions are crap and inaccurate, can't I
just ask someone else?
A: No. This is because BT usually introduces a few deliberate errors
into the directions, just to make sure that you're the type of person
who really deserves to attend.
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Q: I'd like to come but I'm afraid of riding on dirt. Is it OK to
come by car?
A1: For pity's sake, 6km is NOT a lot of dirt, and it's in good
condition!
A2: Arriving by car is acceptable, but it significantly decreases your
chances of going home with a trophy.
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Q: So it's in the country? Can I bring my fireworks/guns/pig dogs/
tactical thermonuclear weapons?
A: Please exercise a little common sense, and assume that in most ways
this is just like a party at any private residence. If you're unsure
about anything, just ask BT before you bring it.
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Q: Do you have one of those "code of acceptable behaviour" things?
A: BT is the sole aribiter of acceptable or unacceptable behaviour.
He likes it that way, since he finds that wielding Supreme Executive
Power is good for his ego.
Anyone behaving in an unacceptable manner will receive a single Cease
and Desist warning, and if they persist with their unacceptable
behaviour will be required to sit upon the Naughty Stool and Think
About What They've Done. Really outstandingly bad behaviour will see
you escorted from the premesis.
Examples of unacceptable behaviour include bringing firearms, setting
off Stones Bombs or fireworks, and telling Booth Jokes.
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Q: What, no Stones Bombs?!
A: In a transparent attempt to win Dave Milligan's Isle of Man trip,
Stones Bombs are banned at the Unaugural as per the rules detailed in
his aus.moto posting on the topic.
Anyone found preparing or setting off a Stones Bomb will be required
to leave the Unaugural immediately. No exceptions.
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Q: So do you have trophies like a proper rally then?
A: Yes, the following trophies will be awarded this year for those
who arrive by motorcycle:
1. Longest distance;
2. Longest distance per cc of engine capacity;
3. Smallest capacity motorcycle (motorcycle can be brought by trailer,
but must be ridden on a lap around the paddock);
4. Hard Luck.
There will also be a few novelty trophies, presented as BT sees fit.
This year there will also be Limited Edition Collector's Item High
Quality Merchandise* available for sale at Very Reasonable Prices**
* Merchandise may not be of high quality, limited in edition, or
collectible.
** Prices may be very unreasonable indeed unless compared to, say, a
yacht.
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