Message from discussion What Would You Like Others To Do?

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From: "singit" <isibel...@hotmail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.support.social-phobia
Subject: Re: What Would You Like Others To Do?
Date: 13 Apr 2007 21:07:57 -0700
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On Apr 14, 3:47 am, "Skog" <thes...@juno.com> wrote:
> On Apr 13, 12:34 am, "singit" <isibel...@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
> > On Mar 25, 5:43 am, Jack <J...@nyet.not> wrote:
>
> The question(s) as originally posed were: "Do you want people to help
> you or leave you alone? If help, what would you like them to do to
> help? Do you want professional help, rather than help from people in
> your work. family, or school life? . . . What do you want others to do
> that you think would help or support you?"  The questions were
> inspired by a response I got to a comment I made in a post stating
> that if people around truly felt any empathy, they would try to do
> something to help. The response disagreed that help should follow
> empathy and that it was unreasonable to expect help from anyone. I
> thought I would ask what people wanted
>
> The few responses on this forum were quite cynical.  On another forum,
> I got a range of responses.  Respondents said they want to feel
> included in the lives of others. They would like reassurance and less
> anxiety. They want to learn how to interact with people. Respondents
> said they want to feel like they matter to other people. They want to
> be treated with dignity. They want other people in their lives to
> learn something about AvPD and not feel alone in their own efforts to
> address it.  No one described anything burdensome they expect the
> people around them to do to accommodate them. Most people acknowledged
> the need to do things for themselves, but they would like support in
> their efforts. I think those expectations are reasonable.
>
> While I think I have plenty of skepticism and cynicism, I think people
> are basically good and that most want to do the right thing.  Why the
> people around avoidants, including the people around me, don't
> recognize that there is some problem, even though they may not know
> what it is, and don't do anything to help, puzzles me.  The failure to
> receive support shows that this is a 2-way problem. I don't know how
> anyone can get better without the involvement of the people around
> them, but I also don't know how to cause that to occur.

Where cities are more likely to aggravate mental conditions, smaller
communities, are  likely to be more responsive to the needs of
individuals. Yet cities are where resources are located.
I think I'd have a chance at a normal life if I had a job.  I need
help to get a job but I've been too shy to do anything about it (until
now). Result: the loudest people get the resources and I get classed
as some kind of antisocial/psychopath who doesn't want a job. Nice.