> > On Mar 25, 5:43 am, Jack <J...@nyet.not> wrote:

> The question(s) as originally posed were: "Do you want people to help
> you or leave you alone? If help, what would you like them to do to
> help? Do you want professional help, rather than help from people in
> your work. family, or school life? . . . What do you want others to do
> that you think would help or support you?"  The questions were
> inspired by a response I got to a comment I made in a post stating
> that if people around truly felt any empathy, they would try to do
> something to help. The response disagreed that help should follow
> empathy and that it was unreasonable to expect help from anyone. I
> thought I would ask what people wanted

> The few responses on this forum were quite cynical.  On another forum,
> I got a range of responses.  Respondents said they want to feel
> included in the lives of others. They would like reassurance and less
> anxiety. They want to learn how to interact with people. Respondents
> said they want to feel like they matter to other people. They want to
> be treated with dignity. They want other people in their lives to
> learn something about AvPD and not feel alone in their own efforts to
> address it.  No one described anything burdensome they expect the
> people around them to do to accommodate them. Most people acknowledged
> the need to do things for themselves, but they would like support in
> their efforts. I think those expectations are reasonable.

> While I think I have plenty of skepticism and cynicism, I think people
> are basically good and that most want to do the right thing.  Why the
> people around avoidants, including the people around me, don't
> recognize that there is some problem, even though they may not know
> what it is, and don't do anything to help, puzzles me.  The failure to
> receive support shows that this is a 2-way problem. I don't know how
> anyone can get better without the involvement of the people around
> them, but I also don't know how to cause that to occur.