> Do you feel that it Is like talking to a wall here because you feel
>few people respond or because the responses are not on point or some
>other reason?
> Rado asked if I had posted this elsewhere and I did.  I got more
>responses elsewhere, too, which may support your point, Jack.
> Personally, I want people to help me.  I've tried unsuccesfully to
>get a couple of people to help me.  It's very frustrating and
>discouraging that I had been in a frame of mind to work on my problem,
>but I can't get support and encouragement from the people from whom I
>wanted it the most.

> > Do you feel that it Is like talking to a wall here because you feel
> >few people respond or because the responses are not on point or some
> >other reason?
> > Rado asked if I had posted this elsewhere and I did.  I got more
> >responses elsewhere, too, which may support your point, Jack.
> > Personally, I want people to help me.  I've tried unsuccesfully to
> >get a couple of people to help me.  It's very frustrating and
> >discouraging that I had been in a frame of mind to work on my problem,
> >but I can't get support and encouragement from the people from whom I
> >wanted it the most.

> sorry that I didn't answer earlier, Skog. I hadn't been back here in a
> while. The reason is that, yes, it was like talking to a wall because
> of precious few answers.

> Plus, this free usenet server that I'm using (being new) has some bugs
> and is dropping posts. I just went now to read through Google groups
> instead and I see your post for the first time.

> By way of reply, the only people that I got any help from (tons of any
> help that I would ask for) were women that I had relationships with.
> Anybody else will only do what little they happen to feel at the
> moment like doing, if it makes them able to demonstrate that they are
> a good and "caring" person.

> Most humans are crap. You have to seek out the few that are not. Be
> careful whom you trust. We live in a time when psychopaths are heroes.

> Does that sound cynical? :)  You have to laugh... or at least, I do :)

> As far as working on this problem, why not choose some small goals to
> achieve? Some goals that don't rely heavily on other people being good
> and nice to you, but still naturally enough do involve interacting
> with other people.

> On Apr 13, 12:34 am, "singit" <isibel...@hotmail.com> wrote:

> > On Mar 25, 5:43 am, Jack <J...@nyet.not> wrote:

> The question(s) as originally posed were: "Do you want people to help
> you or leave you alone? If help, what would you like them to do to
> help? Do you want professional help, rather than help from people in
> your work. family, or school life? . . . What do you want others to do
> that you think would help or support you?"  The questions were
> inspired by a response I got to a comment I made in a post stating
> that if people around truly felt any empathy, they would try to do
> something to help. The response disagreed that help should follow
> empathy and that it was unreasonable to expect help from anyone. I
> thought I would ask what people wanted

> The few responses on this forum were quite cynical.  On another forum,
> I got a range of responses.  Respondents said they want to feel
> included in the lives of others. They would like reassurance and less
> anxiety. They want to learn how to interact with people. Respondents
> said they want to feel like they matter to other people. They want to
> be treated with dignity. They want other people in their lives to
> learn something about AvPD and not feel alone in their own efforts to
> address it.  No one described anything burdensome they expect the
> people around them to do to accommodate them. Most people acknowledged
> the need to do things for themselves, but they would like support in
> their efforts. I think those expectations are reasonable.

> While I think I have plenty of skepticism and cynicism, I think people
> are basically good and that most want to do the right thing.  Why the
> people around avoidants, including the people around me, don't
> recognize that there is some problem, even though they may not know
> what it is, and don't do anything to help, puzzles me.  The failure to
> receive support shows that this is a 2-way problem. I don't know how
> anyone can get better without the involvement of the people around
> them, but I also don't know how to cause that to occur.

> I think people
>are basically good and that most want to do the right thing.  

> Why the
>people around avoidants, including the people around me, don't
>recognize that there is some problem, even though they may not know
>what it is, and don't do anything to help, puzzles me.